This morning, I was excited about the prospect of blogging again. I set my latest post to be published at 9:00 AM, while I would be eating breakfast with my cousin who had just returned from a missions trip to Kenya. I had also started brainstorming about how I can convey some of my recent experiences in a form that would benefit my readers. People in my everyday life had been asking me when I would start writing again. I figured that I had made them wait long enough.
Since I had already started working on some new songs for my mixtape, I decided to try my hand at this morning’s post. At first, I didn’t expect it to take on such a subject. I remembered feeling a bit overexposed after the flurry of posts that I had written about my ex-girlfriend years ago. Nonetheless, I felt that I had learned something valuable that was worth sharing with others. In all honesty, I did expect a bit of negative feedback. After all, there is a lot of emotion involved in romantic relationships–even those like the subject of today’s post that never really progressed. However, I didn’t expect the kind of feedback that I received.
It had been a pretty quiet day at work. For once, I was fully engulfed by an assignment that I enjoyed immensely. (It involved merging several data sets and creating graphics. For the record, I am hoping to secure a position that involves quantitative analysis when I graduate.) I was getting ready to turn in my time sheet since I had just about completed my hours for the week. Since I was about to leave my desk, I picked up my cell phone. It was then that I noticed her missed calls and texts. By the time I had the chance to respond, she had already convinced herself and her friends that I was a cyber bully.
Needless to say, that was not the reaction I anticipated.
A few hours,
a few deleted comments, and an apology (from her) later, I am reminded of why I stopped blogging years ago when a brief statement about feeling disrespected at a church where I served led to a lot of unnecessary drama. It’s very easy for people to misconstrue words to fit preconceived notions. This morning’s post wasn’t an attempt at bashing anyone. It was an opportunity for me to demonstrate how this painful situation was God’s way of teaching me to trust him. It was an honest look at my own fears and insecurities. It’s still puzzling to me how this one post was blown so far out of proportion, but I guess people just love to think the worst of each other. It’s an unfortunate part of life.
This morning, I was excited about blogging again, but at this point, the excitement has been overshadowed by the reality that blogging again will open me up to more unmerited animosity.
(Note: Even though she apologized, the damage has already been done. She’s still posting negative things about me on her various social media accounts yet I’m the cyber bully? I could understand if I actually did something wrong, but having my reputation tarnished just because I told a woman that I saw her as a little sister after meeting her in person twice in a period of two months? That’s ridiculous. My mother always told me that it is hardest to defend yourself against a lie. I didn’t expect to learn that first-hand.)