Getting Played: Another Missed Opportunity

My group of friends all know the story of me and this girl I will refer to as MO for “missed opportunity.”  We met at a time that just wasn’t good for either one of us, and my overly courteous nature left room for someone else to come in and sweep her off her feet.  (Yes, that’s the extremely abbreviated version.)   Since then, I told myself that I would never end up in that kind of situation again.  Next time, I wouldn’t be so adamant about timing.  I would be open to allowing a good friendship and potentially a decent relationship to develop in the process.  Unfortunately, things don’t always go as planned.

On Friday night, I was out with one of my friends for a post-breakup check in.  He was concerned about me in the aftermath of what happened.  After all, he knew that I hadn’t experienced a breakup in a long time because I had been single for over six years before this incredibly brief relationship started.  Plus, he is the only reason that my ex girlfriend and I even met.  He dated her several months ago and things didn’t work out.  (He had since married and gave me his blessing.)  Somehow, our conversation took a strange turn from the traditional ex bashing post-relationship processing that one would expect and drifted on to my birthday party, which will happen in a few months.

“Well, at least I don’t have to worry about B having to meet up with (ex-girlfriend’s friend) anymore at my party,” I grumbled when talking about a matchmaking attempt that my ex-girlfriend and I had planned between two of our closest friends, “It probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway.  She was cool though.”

Then, I got the surprise of my life with my friend’s response.

“You know you were supposed to meet (ex-girlfriend’s friend) first,” he replied.

“What did you say?” I asked.  I just knew I had heard him wrong.

“You were supposed to meet her that weekend when (ex girlfriend) came to town to visit me, but you had something else to do so we canceled,” he continued.

“You mean the weekend when my uncle died?” I asked.  I was clearly becoming more frustrated by this time.

“Yeah,” he replied, “That’s why I was so shocked when you came to me to tell me that you were considering dating (ex-girlfriend).  We had been talking to her friend about you for a while and she was really looking forward to meeting you.  Plus, she was actually your type unlike your ex.”

It’s funny how your friends always know your type–even when you’re a bit too self-righteous to admit to having one.  There are just certain physical and personality characteristics that I tend to gravitate toward. My friend was right on the money with this one, just like B was when he tried to fix me up with the singer.  (Yes, for those of you who read this blog for a while, A and B were the two friends arguing in that story as well.)  I refuse to say what my type actually is, but it is true that my ex didn’t really fit that particular mold.  Still, I cared about her.  I just figured it was time for me to deviate.

“She was,” I grumbled.  Since I met this girl who I’ll now refer to as MO2 with my soon-to-be girlfriend (who was also my soon-to-be ex-girlfriend given the length of time our relationship lasted), I made a point of acting like I didn’t notice.  I did.  However, I wasn’t about to jeopardize the relationship I was trying to build.   I figured Mo2 and I would develop a sort of brother-sister relationship.

Needless to say, this revelation put me a few steps back on my healing process.  Had I known about the efforts to fix me up with MO2, I would have reached out to her months ago.  Now that chance is gone because I already dated her friend.  I was a bit annoyed with my friend for forgetting to tell me this key information, but then I remembered that he was going through a lot at the time.  Nonetheless, I had to ask this question just for my own peace of mind.

“So, if  you and (ex-girlfriend) were really planning on fixing me up with MO2, why didn’t (ex-girlfriend) mention that to me when we first started talking?” I asked.  I didn’t even need him to respond because I already knew.  I got played.  No hard feelings.  What’s done is done.  As for MO2, I hear she was in the early stages of a new relationship.  I’m happy for her and I sincerely hope everything works out.

In honor of me getting played and accumulating another MO, here’s the song “Almost,” by Tamia.  Admittedly, it is only slightly applicable to this situation, but I couldn’t think of a more accurate song to describe the dangerous game of “what if” that is occurring in my mind at the moment.

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About Spencer

Spencer T. Clayton is a typical millennial who believed his mother when she told him that he was capable of accomplishing great things (and as a result has amassed a large amount of student loan debt). When he isn’t blogging, he is either out with friends, writing and performing music, or busy working as an Executive Pastor and Consultant while simultaneously pursuing a PhD in Public Affairs.

  2 comments for “Getting Played: Another Missed Opportunity

  1. October 23, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    We’re gonna have to monitor each other and point out the MO’s in our lives. I’m praying that the cycle stops.

    • October 23, 2012 at 11:03 pm

      agreed. that cycle has to come to an end.

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