Post-Breakup Music

Within hours of posting “Little Eyes are Watching,” I found myself in a precarious situation.  I was sitting at my mom’s house talking about my day when I got a text from my little cousin who had been on the phone with his girlfriend until moments before.  It said “(Girlfriend’s name) just dumped me.”  He was experiencing his first broken heart.  My little brother-in-Christ and I spent a long time talking to him to make sure he was okay.  He was confused because he had no real indication that things had gone wrong in his relationship.  We told him that it just happens like that sometimes because breakups can happen with no warning at all.  Little did I know at the time that his little eyes would have the chance to watch me go through the same thing in a matter of days.

I’m not going into details yet, though it is definitely disappointing that my first relationship in over six years ended in barely two weeks.  It’s also a bit disturbing that my now ex-girlfriend chose to end things over Facebook.  Nonetheless, I am thankful for the positive impact that this experience has had on my relationship with God.  I wish her the best even though at this point, I have no kind words for her.  She is a talented woman who has a lot of things to offer to the kingdom of God and has no business being in relationships with anybody at this point in her life.  In honor of my return to singleness, here are six of my favorite post-breakup songs for each of the six years of peaceful singleness I gave up for two weeks of confusion.

Don’t Want to Be A Fool – Luther Vandross

This song came on during one of my two drives home last night (after I accidentally left my keys in my mom’s front door).  It’s incredibly depressing and perfectly applicable to my current mindset.  I’ll bounce back though.  I always do.

U Don’t Have to Call – Usher

I’ve always loved this song.  In fact, this video has always appealed to my hidden “inner dancer.”  It so happens that I did wake up this morning sort of hoping that Saturday night’s events were just in my imagination.  They weren’t.  No phone calls coming my direction.  At least my friends are actually planning on taking me out to get my mind off the situation.  I really do have some good people in my life.

Used to Love U – John Legend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMzMuGOh-b0

My close friends all know this is one of my favorite songs to sing at karaoke.  It brings me back to my first breakup in college.  Back then, I was dating a woman who didn’t really trust me and had a way of critiquing my every move.  I admired John Legend’s ability to combat that treatment in his song by saying that he was done with the situation in his own smooth, angry way.  I wish I could have found the actual video, which takes place in a church.  To some extent, I could have seen my latest situation coming to a head like that.  (God blocked it.)

Never Love Again – Anthony Hamilton

A few years ago, I found out about this song thanks to Pandora.  For some reason, it stuck with me.  I think I appreciated the soft delivery of the track.  Besides, the words are true.  Men who get hurt deeply tend not to want to give love another chance.  Rest assured, if I ever release an album, something on it will definitely sound like this song.

Nothing Left to Say – Mint Condition

I’m a pretty big Mint Condition fan and my appreciation for this song stemmed largely from the fact that it was the first new material they had released in years.  After I started listening to it, I realized this was something I could have written myself based on some my past experiences.  Sometimes, there really is nothing left to say.

Rocket Love – Stevie Wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9Js4VNzZLk

Although I haven’t gone into detail about the situation, you can pretty much figure out what happened by listening to the lyrics of this song.  Ironically, this has been one of my favorite Stevie Wonder songs for a few years now.  I guess it was prophetic.  I’ve loved this song from the first time I heard it.  Truth be told, I’ve even derived some of the chord progressions in my original music from it.

What about you?  What are your favorite songs to listen to post-breakup?  What songs would you add to this list?

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About Spencer

Spencer T. Clayton is a typical millennial who believed his mother when she told him that he was capable of accomplishing great things (and as a result has amassed a large amount of student loan debt). When he isn’t blogging, he is either out with friends, writing and performing music, or busy working as an Executive Pastor and Consultant while simultaneously pursuing a PhD in Public Affairs.

  3 comments for “Post-Breakup Music

  1. October 9, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    All I can say is, oh boy… It could have been worse. It could have lasted way longer that two weeks and you could have been a lot more emotionally invested. Either way, it all hurts even a little. There are 7 billion people in the world. We haven’t met them all.

    • October 9, 2012 at 6:23 pm

      you’re right. it could have been a whole lot worse. I’m more agitated with the way it happened than anything else. It felt like things ended before they even really had the chance to start. I guess it’s for the best though. I have no intention of revisiting this situation. What’s done is done.

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