For much of my adult life, I have wondered why powerful men get into trouble so easily. It just never ceases to amaze me how often I hear stories of men who lose everything due to some type of sexual indiscretion. I had heard stories of how some women (and men given the way things are these days) will go out of their way to make themselves sexually available to men who they deem to be powerful, but it never occurred to me I fall into the “powerful” category–especially in my current state.
Although I am a minister, entrepreneur, and aspiring academic, I know that I still have a long way to go before I reach any of the goals that I have set for myself. For this reason, I do not consider myself to be powerful enough to merit such unwanted attention. Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way that my own perspectives on myself are often at odds with the way the world sees me. Indeed, my underestimation of my own status in the eyes of other people has gotten me into some interesting situations.
Looking back over my life, I now see the women (and unfortunately the men) who went out of their way to be in my company for less-than-holy reasons. Some came under the guise of friendship and intriguing conversations. Others came under the guise of helpfulness. Some even tried (and failed) to appeal to my fleshly desires. Very few of them were actually bold enough to state their intentions from the onset. (Ironically, those were the ones that I respected most. At least their honesty saved me from thinking that I had made a real friend or forged a genuine connection.)
I can also see how God kept me from losing myself in each situation. Sure I was a bit confused and upset when true intentions came to light, but I was also thankful that I had not found myself involved in something that would be considered a scandal. (Yes, I’ve been pretty open on this blog about my lack of experience in certain areas.) God kept me.
At the same time, I can understand how easy it is to fall. Human beings have a basic need for companionship. As a result, we will sometimes allow our boundaries to be crossed just so we can have someone around. This is especially true in the case of powerful people who often feel alone and misunderstood. I know there have been times when it was clear that people were only interested in befriending me because of my status, my possessions, or their belief that I may fall in love with them someday even though they were not my type. Nonetheless, I allowed those people to remain in my presence so I would not be by myself. I figured that I had things under control. That’s the problem with powerful men–we always think we’re in control. Then, a situation two years ago showed me how easily things could spin out of control. In a way, I faced my own Samson and Delilah scenario except that God preserved me from Samson’s ultimate fate.
The real reason that powerful men get into trouble so easily is that we control so many things in our lives that we fail to acknowledge our inability to fully control the way that positive sources of companionship come into our lives. We sometimes settle for people who are convenient instead of searching for people who are beneficial and edifying. For now, it is my prayer that God will continue to protect me and to fill my life with positive people so that I will not fall susceptible to that many people out there who do not have my best interests at heart. That way, this powerful-man-in-training will not suffer the same fate as many of my predecessors.